2 weeks ago
8
By
Brian Moylan,
who writes Vulture's Housewives Institute Bulletin
Photo: CBS
Product integration is back, baby, and whoever works connected the advertizing squad astatine CBS is getting a huge promotion aft this episode. We’ve had the Charmin toilet, the Home Depot instrumentality kit, and the Sprint telephone from home, but I deliberation this Applebee’s reward volition spell down successful past arsenic the clip erstwhile a sponsored situation mightiness person had the biggest impact connected the game. I retrieve when Dreamz stole a car from Yau-Man, but I can’t archer you what benignant of car it was. I volition ne'er forget that Liz nearly mislaid her caput due to the fact that she didn’t get a Bourbon Burger from Applebee’s. (Fun fact: I person ne'er been to Applebee’s.)
At the commencement of the episode, everyone is gunning for Q due to the fact that they are abruptly sane radical playing a rational game, and that doesn’t dependable similar this formed astatine all. That is everyone but Maria, who approaches Q connected the formation aft the ballot to marque definite that he’s doing okay. She says that she sees him arsenic a fig and would like to support voting with him. Maria besides goes truthful acold arsenic to accidental she trusts Q. She trusts Q?! His crippled whitethorn beryllium truthful disassembled at this constituent that she thinks helium has nary prime but to ballot for him, but trusting Q is absolutely stupid.
The occupation with Q is that helium is acold excessively volatile a subordinate for her to trust. It’s similar Maria needs to unfastened the entranceway to a cave to triumph the game. She could dig, but that would instrumentality excessively agelong and isn’t precise glamorous for her (god, I hatred this word) resume. Or! There is simply a leaky instrumentality of dynamite that she could usage to stroke the cave open. Big! Showy! The assemblage volition emotion it! The occupation is, 1 mendacious move, 1 alert landing connected it, 1 displacement successful the breeze, and the dynamite volition spell off, and not lone volition the cave not open, but Maria volition astir likely be killed. Q is that instrumentality of dynamite and I tin spot her moving with him for 1 vote but put the dynamite down Liz. I emotion you with each your limbs.
They get to the reward challenge where they person to do bunch of worldly and past get a sandbag to onshore connected the apical of a gangly pole and the victor gets Applebee’s. Sadly, Jeff did not archer them that they get each the fixin’s, but I person nary uncertainty they are there. Liz tells america that she and her girl person a ritual wherever they spell to Applebee’s each Wednesday, wherever she gets a burger, and past they spell location to watch Survivor. Not lone is Liz starving due to the fact that she’s allergic to everything but novelty glasses and love, but she besides wants that sensation of home. Then Jeff announces that they’re going to devour a Bourbon Street Mushroom Swiss Burger, and Liz absolutely loses her shit. It’s astir similar Jeff said those words, and they Manchurian Candidate-d a preprogrammed hypnosis successful Liz, which was placed determination by the selling department. We person seen people be excited astir prizes connected this show, but ne'er has a brand been given as much of a personal transportation arsenic this one.
Q wins and chooses Tiff to spell with him truthful that helium tin acceptable things close with her. Then helium chooses Maria due to the fact that she’s the lone one who is nice to him. Finally, arsenic Liz literally begs and cries, hoping for a changeable astatine that burger, helium chooses Kenzie close determination successful beforehand of her face, a determination that adjacent Kenzie says is cold. Then Liz absolutely snaps successful a mode I person ne'er seen on Survivor or world television, and I wrote an full publication astir the Real Housewives franchise.
“You deliberation you’ve gone without eating? I spot you devour each day!” Liz shouts done rage tears. “Q, you astir blew up my full game. You overshadowed everything I was trying to do, and I said it was cool. I didn’t say nothingggggggggggg. I don’t adjacent privation to beryllium around y’all. Q, you blew up my full freakin’ spot. I didn’t cognize astir the damn divided ballot past night.” It’s a monologue for the ages, and it’s each implicit a burger. If she’s getting this huffy astir it, then maybe I should spell to Applebee’s for the archetypal clip and cheque it out. (I unrecorded successful England, which has banned Applebee’s for crimes against cuisine.)
When Liz returns to camp, Venus tells her, “Don’t worry. We’ve each wanted to bash that to Q astatine slightest once,” yet she is the lone idiosyncratic who has. That’s bully for Liz. The eventual irony is that determination is truthful overmuch nutrient astatine the Sanctuary (where bully things happen … to atrocious people) that nary 1 adjacent eats the burger that Liz was truthful bare for.
At the Sanctuary, Q is trying to repair his bonds with the Yanu three, but Tiff and Kenzie are truthful implicit him that the 2nd helium walks away, they’re readying his ouster, unaware that Maria sees things rather differently.
The immunity situation is the classical “hold a bucket with 25 percent of your assemblage value arsenic agelong arsenic you can” challenge, but determination is different bargaining for atom wherever 4 radical request to beryllium out or two radical request to springiness up their votes for a sack of rice. This time, Jeff besides adds that if immoderate individuals privation to beryllium retired but the radical doesn’t privation to, then the individuals can person their own little cookware of rice. Once again, nary 1 wants to beryllium out, but Liz does due to the fact that she needs the food. I person a feeling the producers were huddling aft the reward situation and saying, “We person starved this pistillate to the constituent of madness. How tin we conscionable springiness her immoderate damn atom earlier she bloodies that machete?” This was their solution.
Charlie wins the situation aft a stand-off with Tiff, and past helium tells america that helium has been moving connected his grip spot for 2 years successful mentation for going connected the show. It’s not a anserine thought since grip spot is a cardinal indicator of wellness and vitality. Working connected grip spot seems similar bully mentation due to the fact that it could travel successful useful successful a assortment of scenarios and challenges, whereas 3D printing puzzles and doing them successful the backyard seems a small spot similar cheating.
Back astatine camp, everyone seems to privation to ballot for Q, and that is erstwhile you cognize a existent blindside is a-brewing. Kenzie inactive wants to get escaped of Tiff, but she’s disquieted astir the idol due to the fact that if she plays it and they each ballot for Tiff, then it’s going to look really bad, particularly for her. What transpires adjacent is classic Survivor, which is truthful amusive and wonderful to ticker and wherefore I emotion the game. Maria and Charlie spell astir convincing everyone that Tiff’s idol is more scary than the talking instrumentality of dynamite that Maria has stashed nether her pillow. They gully successful Q, who is blessed to ballot for anyone who isn’t him, and Ben, who sees the menace Tiff poses and thinks it surely does not rock. They just need 1 much vote. They don’t spot Kenzie not to archer Tiff, and everyone hates Venus truthful overmuch that they don’t privation to enactment with her. Poor Venus. I emotion her, and I can’t hold for her to beryllium a returning player.
That means the cardinal to this full program is Liz, a pistillate who not lone hates Q but also wants revenge for the Bourbon Burger That Never Was. She’s weighing up whether seeing Q get his torch snuffed is much satisfying than perchance winning a cardinal dollars. This is the archetypal clip that I didn’t cognize however the ballot was going to spell not due to the fact that of editing tricks oregon each the whispers astatine tribal assembly due to the fact that you couldn’t archer which mode Liz was going to ballot owed to a assortment of factors that are some societal and strategic.
Liz is somewhat disquieted that this is going to be a resume determination for Maria and it certainly volition beryllium — she devised the program and was the lone idiosyncratic who thought to use Q for the vote. However, Liz tin besides merchantability it as, “Yeah, that was a large plan, but the determination was up to me. I got to take however it went, truthful I was the decider.” But this looks large for Maria’s game, which I deliberation is the champion and astir consistent so far. Now she just needs to anticipation she tin marque it to the opening of that cave earlier her dynamite trap ends up charring each of her soma similar she’s Wile E. Coyote.
English (US)