This just sucks: How to deal with a post-hike surprise at a cafe

2 days ago 1

I precocious did a quality hike with friends. After the hike, we went to a adjacent cafe for breakfast. On my mode out, a big, bloated leech fell disconnected my leg. I near the wiggling offender connected the cafe steps. Was that the close happening to do? Or should I person killed it?
S.C., Port Macquarie, NSW

Credit: Illustration by Simon Letch

Anything that contains a important magnitude of someone’s inner-body liquids – truthful I’m talking leeches, Band-Aids, sweaty headbands, snotty tissues, soiled nappies and condoms – should ne'er beryllium near connected the steps of a cafe wherever radical are eating breakfast. And immoderate predatory carnal with skin-piercing mouthparts – truthful I’m talking leeches, ticks, redback spiders, cobras, large achromatic sharks, zombie cannibals and Nosferatus – should ne'er beryllium near connected the steps of a cafe wherever radical are eating breakfast. And immoderate visually repulsive entity that causes radical to shudder successful disgust – truthful I’m talking leeches, blobfish, tapeworms, naked mole rats, clothed mole rats, larval-decaying nutrient and a Blu Ray transcript of The Human Centipede 2 – should ne'er beryllium near connected the steps of a cafe wherever radical are eating breakfast.

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As you tin see, leeches are the communal denominator successful each of these categories. They’re not a peculiarly beloved carnal and radical successful cafes astir apt don’t privation to look astatine them, bent with them oregon stroll implicit and favored them. But leeches merit respect: these are bonzer organisms, immoderate person 10 stomachs, 32 brains and hundreds of teeth – and, for thousands of years of quality civilisation, they were beauteous overmuch our nationalist wellness system. So nary leech-killing. You should’ve mildly picked up the leech with a cafe napkin and thrown it into immoderate bushes wherever it could bask the aforesaid happening you enjoyed that greeting – a pleasant, leisurely hike done scenic bushland.

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