Vanderpump Rules Season-Finale Recap: Fool’s Gold

When this play started, it was a world amusement astir world stars making a world amusement that conscionable went done the greatest scandal in its history. That’s due to the fact that it was. The play ends with 3 fantabulous monologues — from Lala, Katie, and Ariana — about what it’s similar to person your existent beingness beryllium a world amusement and what that means: People beryllium 1 different and the audience. To me, that extremity was fascinating, particularly with those pictures of them each from their archetypal confessionals. This play was ever astir the morals of being a world star, and each of these antithetic women explained arsenic valid but precise conflicting visions of what it was like.

Instead of the accustomed recap successful which I speech astir the boner I got from Brock’s mustache and marque amusive of them each for grilling Dan astatine their radical luncheon (though, according to Lala, that was besides astir weeding retired assholes from the “friend group”), I’d similar to just look astatine those 3 monologues and speech astir what they mean — and what they mean for the aboriginal of the show.

These speeches are each kicked disconnected by Ariana leaving Kyle Chan’s “Good As Gold” rerelease enactment due to the fact that Sandoval attempted to locomotion up to her and apologize, and she turned and walked distant from him with a coldness that froze implicit the San Francisco Bay.

The archetypal and longest to talk is Lala. “I emotion filming this amusement due to the fact that it is real. I find it to beryllium tremendously healing, and for Ariana to locomotion retired this mode is conscionable specified a slap successful the face,” Lala says close aft her rant astir however Ariana got cheated connected and present thinks she’s God. “This is what we do. We’ve been doing this for astir of our big lives … And determination is simply a work that comes with surviving your beingness on-camera. You person to beryllium truthful adjacent erstwhile it’s highly uncomfortable. I deliberation James has. Tom and Katie. I consciousness similar I have, but determination was a clip erstwhile I was not honorable astir what was going connected successful my life, and it was suffocating. I don’t consciousness similar Tom and Ariana were ever honest astir their narration until Tom was caught cheating. And you deliberation you get to beryllium honorable for 1 infinitesimal and past get to battalion it each distant and each is good. Fuck that.”

This is a workplace issue that we’ve seen galore times before, similar Dorinda bullying Tinsley on RHONY because she didn’t deliberation that Tinsley was being arsenic authentic on-camera arsenic the remainder of the women. That’s what Lala is accusing Ariana of. She’s saying everyone other is consenting to bash things that marque them uncomfortable — like Tom and Katie continuing to interact aft their divorcement — but that Ariana is getting a walk due to the fact that she has made herself a victim. She resents that Ariana seems to beryllium getting a escaped walk due to the fact that of each the shitty things Sandoval did to her.

This sentiment was echoed by Sandoval earlier astatine the party: “If you don’t privation to movie with your ex, don’t beryllium connected the show. Don’t beryllium backmost connected your lazy ass and cod a cheque for doing nothing.” While I don’t needfully hold with his assessment, I do deliberation that this is simply a valid mode for 1 of Ariana’s coworkers to feel. Sandoval, correctly oregon not, thinks that helium has shown up, helium has dealt with the slings and arrows of the public, he has been consenting to speech to his ex, and helium has conscionable gotten further vilified for it.

This also can’t wholly beryllium seen arsenic Ariana’s fault. I’m not definite what the producers promised her astir her vulnerability to Tom this season, but they whitethorn person promised her that it would beryllium thing astatine all, a bound that doesn’t look sustainable for the show. For her life, absolutely. But for the show, which is inactive the ground for her lucrative career, it seems present much than ever it needs to beryllium him oregon her.

Speaking of boundaries, Katie Maloney Schwartz Maloney sums it up perfectly: “Sometimes you request to instrumentality to your fucking boundaries, and if your bid is much than that, past fucking basal your ground.” The happening that’s hard astir each of this is that some Katie and Lala/Sandoval are right. If I were Ariana and I was successful this concern successful existent beingness (not connected a show), past I would signifier those boundaries astir nary communal friends, astir not talking to that idiosyncratic ever again, astir cutting his balls disconnected truthful dilatory that we’ll person interstellar question by the time I’m done, and I would ne'er alteration them.

Katie shows her boundaries with Jo and Schwartz astatine the last party, telling Schwartz that if helium wants to beryllium friends, helium should not bring Jo astir her anymore. (I deliberation determination should beryllium a abstracted recap astir however soiled Schwartz did Jo this season.) While Katie says it’s not an ultimatum, it benignant of is, but I deliberation it’s 1 worthy making. And Ariana has been wide astir her boundaries arsenic well, which is wherefore Scheana can’t person her goat-cheese balls and devour them too by being friends with some of them. She tin try, but it’s going to have consequences some successful her narration with Ariana and with Tom, and if she can’t judge that, past possibly she should driblet them both.

Finally, we perceive from Ariana. “We unrecorded these hard parts of our lives on-camera, but if it’s thing that actually really matters to you regardless, you bash it anyway,” she says astir Sandoval. “He has ne'er tried to talk to maine off-camera. He could person written maine a fucking missive and near it connected the room counter and I could person work it astatine my leisure, but if you’ll lone bash it on-camera, you conscionable showed your existent colors.”

The real dialectic present is that Ariana lone considers her existent beingness and Sandoval lone considers the show. I deliberation that, for these reality-television professionals, the lone mode guardant is determination successful betwixt each real-life boundaries and each amusement theatrics. It’s not leaving everything on-camera, like Lala says; it’s not doing everything that’s good for your life, similar Katie says. It’s a balance. It’s successful between. But that is an perfect satellite successful which everyone thinks these things retired successful advance and plans them. Reality TV is overmuch messier — it’s radical trying to unrecorded done the worst moments of their lives successful nationalist arsenic we ticker and justice them for it. It’s real-time reactions to real-life problems that we past beryllium astir and see arsenic if they hap successful an perfect satellite chopped disconnected from emotion.

Ariana’s stance is inactive a large one. She wanted Tom to beryllium more real with her and less reality — thing helium has been incapable of the full season. We particularly spot this successful the very final seconds erstwhile Schwartz says Lala’s rant is simply a “plot twist,” and Sandoval says, “It’s bully for me,” and tacks connected a laughter truthful maniacal that Dr. Evil has been studying it. Even still, he’s lone reasoning astir the show, about his fame, about exoneration. He doesn’t actually care however Ariana feels oregon astir her forgiveness; helium cares astir selling much tickets for his screen band.

As Ariana says, she is the last brag successful his redemption arc, and he’s pissed that she won’t fto him win. Because of that withholding, she volition ever beryllium the victor. She doesn’t beryllium him a confrontation oregon adjacent a talk, and she doesn’t beryllium america that, either, arsenic overmuch arsenic we whitethorn privation it. We privation her to beryllium honorable and unrecorded her truth; if that means ne'er talking to Sandoval again, past truthful beryllium it.

Again, though, that’s hard for the show. How tin we ever truly determination connected erstwhile Ariana and Sandoval can’t determination on? How tin we find immoderate caller communicative when they’re inactive stuck in this story, similar the mosquito successful amber that started off Jurassic Park? That’s wherefore the extremity of the season is set in a insignificant key. It seems similar Ariana is walking away, like she’s mounting disconnected into the nighttime with a full caller unit we don’t really know and a fellow who doesn’t cognize the crippled and whom Ariana doesn’t privation to explicate this game to. (When she told him that Jo was a “long story,” I astir died.) She’s disconnected to thing brighter, thing different, a fantastic Applebee’s wherever the Shark Bowls are plentiful and she ne'er has to spot Tom Sandoval again — well, astatine slightest until the reunion.

Do I deliberation she’ll return? I don’t know. But if Tom is inactive there, past it’s champion for her that she doesn’t. She tin determination connected to a caller happening (like Chicago in August) and fto Tom enactment connected television, shooting himself successful the ft each clip helium opens his mouth. Or she could stay firm to her bound and archer the producers that if Sandoval is coming back, then she isn’t. But close now, the in-between seems impossible. These shows are each astir struggle and conflict resolution, and if the conflict can’t beryllium resolved, then it has to beryllium removed. I deliberation it’s wide to everyone that Ariana is the 1 who gets to determine what the aboriginal of Vanderpump Rules is really going to look like.